I'm sorry I have been gone so long. There were several reasons: we had received information about H that I wanted to see which way it would go (more below), my several part-time jobs collided and I was extremely stressed for a while, and my kids were driving me crazy (probably due to the preceding problem).
Anyway, what happened with H was that her teacher met with us to tell us that H was not doing 4th grade work and would have to repeat 4th grade unless she started doing better. By better, she meant that H needed to write in complete sentences, write in pencil, not crayon or marker, and fill in the whole worksheet, not just the first 3 questions. I couldn't argue with her. And I decided that if she said H needed to stay behind a year, we would do it.
The problem was that I wasn't sure if H was not doing the work because of inability to focus or because of laziness. Her therapist thought it might be both. To counter the latter, we started doing writing exercises as part of the therapy; to help with the former we continued the oral memory work. The therapist suggested we use Integrated listening systems, which we still might do. However the price is a bit more than we can afford just yet.
Part of what started me thinking that it was laziness was a comment H made about not wanting to work as hard for things she found boring. So for the next few weeks we continued to talk about having to put forth just as much effort in the boring, tedious stuff as in the interesting, fun stuff. She acted like that was a concept she had never thought of before. Go figure! H was also very motivated by the thought of not staying with her friends in 5th grade.
All that was a month ago.
I just heard from her teacher a few days ago. H has made significant improvements, to the point that "we don't have to worry about her" anymore. Thank God! She will make it to 5th grade. I was very proud of her.
Of course she still has to continue doing good work in ALL areas, not just fun ones. And we are still continuing the therapy exercises. But there is now a light at the end of the tunnel! I can't believe we have made it this far!